Decluttering after loss

I was speaking with a friend whose parent passed away a year ago,
and they were lamenting the fact they still have a storage unit filled with their belongings,
and then they called themselves lazy.

oh wow that hurt my heart
they are not lazy
they're grieving
everything single thing in that storage unit - even the storage unit itself - reminds them of this person they love, who is no longer here

Grief has a huge impact on our lives. I can still feel the triggers and the pain from people I have lost. And I have helped many people work through belongings left behind by those they loved that are no longer here.

And it’s not a process you can rush. When you’re ready you’ll know.

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For some people they reach a point and dive in. For others they chip away one possession or category of possessions at a time. Some do it alone. Others seek the help of a friend or trusted relative.

You will hit moments of joy and moments of sadness as memories come flooding in as you touch, hold and review every item. You may also have moments of anger and frustration because you are having to deal with all these belongings. Please know that this is normal.

You will also have moments of needing to stop. Please be kind to yourself because you have taken on a huge emotional task. Give yourself that break.

Whether you’re sorting through piece-by-piece, or a giant chunk at a time, the same decluttering rules apply. Hold each piece and decide if it’s to be kept, donated, sold, recycled or sent to landfill. Set the pace that feels most comfortable and sustainable for you; there is no right timeline for grief.